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Kris
1000 users isn't that much. Even with Matrix you will not need such a big server for that, but yes XMPP is probably the most lightweight option mentioned here so far (other than Deltachat, but that isn't suitable for larger group chats IMHO).
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vanstabholme
I glanced over ejabberd and it seems to be efficient enough to have 1000 people going on a budget server. Thanks for help!
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MattJ
The thing about Matrix is that resource usage doesn't really scale with users, more with the number and size of rooms